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Relation boat or ship?
Posted by Holger:
The following is an unedited
machine generated transcript section.
Towards the end of Roger’s Satsang
“A deeper look at some of the framework!“:
“Once we’re content with ourself, whether it happens outside of relationship or through relationship, we don’t need love. Because we’re complete.
And yet, because life is into human relationship, there are people all the time. Even without attachment to love, we’re going to find ourselves needing to do things during the day. Someone will say, would you like to go out for dinner? And you go, oh, that would be nice, go out for dinner.
And then you find this feeling between 2 people. It’s like, oh, this was really fun. Let’s do it again. You do it again. This is fun.
You find that you spend time together and you get on well with each other, and a relationship forms. And then the relationship can be a relationship that isn’t a relationship that is meant to deliver anything. It’s a relationship that stays intact if it’s better in a way. If it overall delivers a more positive and pleasurable outcome in life than you being on your own.
So if you’re on your own and you’re content and you’re enjoying life and then you find yourself in a relationship and you see that that person has all sorts of attachments, you might actually, from your place of contentment, say this doesn’t make sense. This is not actually delivering experientially a life that is optimal.
Now love and relationship is very complex, so the feeling will be what it is. So if there is a if the connection is strong, you can it can make sense to be in that relationship even if there is pain in it. But it also would make sense to understand that it could be that there’s pain in the relationship and someone says, actually, I can just move out of the relationship and not have that pain and be complete in myself.
And if it but if it is destiny for 2 people who are completing themselves to come together, then my view is that those 2 people walk independently. They’re not attached to each other. They are completing themselves. They are really walking independently and they find that each step they take is a step where the other is side by side.
Not because they believe they should be, they’re actually walking their own path and finding that their own path is a path that they share. And at any point in time, they will understand that the relationship can dissolve through the death of the other, through circumstance taking them in different positions, and they will feel complete even in the dissolving of the relationship.
And yet while it’s there, which could be for the rest of their lives, if it adds value, then it’s, a bonus. It’s a great it’s a beautiful thing. And love on the flow of life level is one of the most beautiful pleasures, one of the most in-depth pleasures. And so if it comes, it’s a great bonus.
But if it’s not there, it’s simply the absence of a particular pleasure, which you may have a different pleasure instead. The pleasure of, you know, traveling and having lots of friends or whatever, which may also be a very deep pleasure. And you know that my happiness, because you’re connected to it, is not actually a result of pleasure or pain.
So you’re not intellectually saying, oh, well, but love would be such a great pleasure. You’re not even thinking that. It’s I’m connected to myself and if it comes in as my destiny, then I’ll enjoy it.”
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Created: May 5, 2024
Last modified: May 5, 2024
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