It feels like it’s going to kill us! –

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It feels like it’s going to kill us!

Posted by Holger:

and keeping them suppressed seems like a good idea
but in practice it’s just keeping
that identity locked away in our system
it’s in a way keeping it alive

so if we hear new conditioning that says
you know sometimes these feelings
just have to come out,
the traumas just have to be given space
to come out and we are very scared of that
because it feels so uncomfortable

it feels like it’s going to kill us

in fact it feels like we won’t survive
if we have to feel that trauma

and that’s why we keep running away from it
we keep turning away from it
and the truth is we need to feel it

it won’t kill us
it is very uncomfortable but it won’t kill us
in the way we imagine it.

And if an openness sets in
where those uncomfortable feelings
are allowed to come up
more than they were previously,
a lot of insight can come
from feeling the intensity of the trauma

and then your understanding of the concepts
of non-doership might start being applied
and seen to be what is at the very base of the trauma

the very base of the trauma might be seen to be
strong attachment to outcomes
like attachment to love

when the trauma comes up
you can feel extreme sadness for example
or grief that a parent hasn’t paid attention to
you that a parent might have been aggressive to you

And in that grief there is very clearly a craving for attention for love
which doesn’t make the suggestion here is not to say
oh that’s very unenlightened it shouldn’t be like that
because if we do that we’re going to be suppressing it again… (a future project)

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Created: December 20, 2022 
Last modified: December 20, 2022

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